James Albert Jackson Graham died on October 3, 2026, at the age of 84 (obituary here). Jim was my friend of longest standing – 80 years, going back to 1946 when we began kindergarten at Bristol Grade School in Independence, Missouri.
After Bristol, we attended eighth grade at Northeast Junior and then completed our remaining high school years at the brand new Van Horn High School. My memories of Jim are intertwined with two other members of the Class of 1959 – Bill Lochman (RIP 2024) and Diana Sullivan (RIP 2025). After Bill and Diana passed away, I wrote tributes to them (here and here), and many of their stories were also Jim Graham stories. I’ll now tell some of them again.
But first, some senior yearbook photos of Jim:
Anyone knowing Jim’s exercise routine (it was non-existent) would be surprised to hear he played football. Jim did have one talent in sports. He was a skilled and graceful swimmer, probably starting with his time in the boy scouts.
In the team photo, Jim circled his face when he signed.
He was succinct in his yearbook message to me. We shared a trait – poor handwriting.
But our first true bonding experience was outside the walls of the school…
The Draggin’ Diplomats: As with many teenagers, my daily life abruptly changed when I got my own car, a 1954 Ford. Freedom! Out and about. Interested in custom cars and drag racing. Mentors were close by. Jim Graham and Bill Lochman lured me to their hot rod club, the “Draggin’ Diplomats,” operating out of Larry Keck’s garage.
The club worked the tech line for the races at the dragstrip on Front Street. The dragstrip had been built by the city with the approval of the KC Police Department to discourage street racing. For the club’s cooperation in this effort, the police department awarded the club a Chrysler engine to use in a race car. The club bought a tiny 1948 Crosley sedan to house the big engine, but the car was never a big winner at the dragstrip.
The club members also actively worked on customizing their own cars. Some were even mechanically inclined and could repair our often-abused cars. They also had a cool custom front license plate. The “K.C.T.A.” referred to the Kansas City Timing Association, the organization that ran the dragstrip.
My mother was somewhat disappointed when she started seeing these new and different friends. She had heard things about Bill’s driving (he had famously totaled his mom’s Plymouth with “Lollipop” blaring on the radio). And it did not help that Jim was making a poor attempt at growing a beard. In the end, mom and dad grew very fond of Jim and Bill who would come by the house to visit while I was away at college.
American Graffiti Summer: After graduation, we enjoyed a summer that was almost perfectly captured in the 1973 movie “American Graffiti.” I spent almost every night cruising with Graham, Lochman and Keck plus other friends from the Draggin’ Diplomats. One of the regulars was the outrageously funny Lonnie Offineer from the Class of ’61 (not to be confused with this Lonnie). [In the 1996 reunion yearbook, my answer to the question about my favorite high school memories was “State basketball tournament. Watching the antics of Jim Graham, Bill Lochman and Lonnie Offineer.”]
The Nu-Way and Starlight drive-in restaurants were part of the regular route, and late night meant the Trolley Inn on Truman Road or the Big Six, a diner on 24 Highway that had “Party Doll” on the jukebox. Mostly, we struck out on any major dating scene, but custom cars (often with Lancer hubcaps), the dragstrip down on Front Street and rock ‘n’ roll music filled in the non-work time.
My mind gets fuzzy on where we danced that summer (as opposed to the summer of ‘60 when I came back from college), but somewhere along the line we were meeting up with friends at the Promenade Ballroom at 31st and Main, the Coke Bar in Grandview and Barry’s Barn in Olathe.
We took a weekend trip to Wichita to see a big-time drag race. One of the participants was Kansas City’s Lou Cangelose who Bill and Jim knew from working the tech line at the KC dragstrip. They had also been to Lou’s house to purchase a used camshaft for the Chrysler engine going into the Crosley. They got the impression that Lou and the guys at the house were tied to the mob (and that turned out to be the case).
Lou drove a Chrysler-powered dragster (the “Missouri Missile”). His crew needed a push car to start the dragster for the race, and I agreed they could use my 1954 Ford. It’s the only photo I have of that car. I don’t remember how the race ended that day, but in 1965, Lou Cangelose was killed when his parachute failed to open after the Missouri Missile crossed the finish line at 198 mph.
One aberration from our summer routine was prompted by the 1959 hit song “Kansas City” by Wilbert Harrison. “I’m gonna be standing on the corner, 12th Street and Vine…they got some crazy little women there and I’m going to get me one.” This naturally drew us in. Lochman, Graham, Offineer and I cruised through the entertainment district that stretched from 12th and Vine to 18th and Paseo. It looked like fun, so we parked and went into one of the clubs.
We were only 17/18 and rarely drank then. In the relaxed regulatory environment of the times, we were shown to a table next to the stage of the Blue Room (not today’s version near the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum, but the original in the now-gone Street Hotel). There we were, four white boys in tee shirts and jeans, in a club otherwise packed with Black customers dressed to the nines. Then the entertainment hit the stage. It was Dizzy Gillespie. Wow. We finished our one beer and left with a cool memory that we did not share with our parents.
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After the 1959 summer, I sold my Ford and headed to engineering school at Rolla where Sigma Nu Fraternity became my new home. Bill and Jim took some courses at local colleges. When I returned for the summer of 1960, we did an American Graffiti repeat of the summer of 1959. I bought a 1956 customized Chevy, and Jim, Bill and others from the club worked on it to add exhaust plugs, a tachometer, 4-barrel carburetor and a floor-shift transmission. Consistent with my mechanical skills, I mostly watched.
The Air Force: I went back to Rolla for my sophomore year, and Bill and Jim did some college, but both ended up joining the Air Force and served at missile sites for the Strategic Air Command. Bill was stationed in bitter cold Minot, North Dakota, and Jim in a more temperate Wyoming.
Sigma Nu: My college home at Sigma Nu Fraternity connected to Jim in a couple of ways.
Our friend Diana Sullivan was going to college in Warrensburg, and I set her up on a blind date with my fraternity brother Larry Brewer. In return, Diana set me up with a blind date with Sharon Harris who lived in Diana’s dormitory. Sharon became my first wife seven months later. Larry and Diana took longer. They married 12 years later.
When I was a senior, Jim’s younger brother Bob started college at Rolla. There was never a question of which fraternity Bob would pledge. He became my Sigma Nu brother and went on to be a leader in the fraternity. Below, Bob’s photo from the Sigma Nu student photos in 1965.
Next Chapter: In 1964, I returned to Kansas City to start law school, and Bill exited the Air Force and took a job in the ad department at the Kansas City Star. After Jim completed his service, he joined Bill at the Star.
One of the perks of working at the Star was that employees could get Chiefs tickets at half-price. Get this. The full price was $14 per game for a ticket in the North Stands, which meant $7 for the employee. Jim and Bill bought four tickets and let me take one of them. My sole luxury item during law school was that $49 season ticket for seven games.
Young Democrats: Since I was busy with law school and work, I did not initially join Bill and Jim in their next endeavor, the South and Eastern Jackson County Young Democrats. The club was a major force in the highly successful Committee for County Progress campaign in 1966 when its slate of candidates won many local and state offices.
Two members of the YD club got married on September 9, 1967. Bill Lochman and Lois Gleue. Jim and I were groomsmen in the wedding. Soon after that, I passed the bar, and Jim and Bill recruited me to join the Young Democrats. The president of the club was Pat Hininger, and her sister Roz had just married Ray Webb who I knew from law school. The next four presidents of the club were Ray, Bill, me and Roz. Jim was one of each of our three vice presidents over the years.
Our social and political lives became closely intertwined. In addition to local YD meetings and parties, we traveled together to state YD functions and national YD conventions (Louisville and Little Rock).
Although they no longer had the Kansas City Star discount, Bill and Jim kept and expanded their Chiefs package to include other YD members – a total of 16 tickets in the North Stands. In 1969, we were rewarded with a Super Bowl season. On Christmas Day of 1971, in the last football game ever played at Municipal Stadium, we saw the Chiefs’ heartbreaking loss to Miami in the longest game in NFL history.
We felt like we had the best parties (not speaking of political parties), the biggest being an annual picnic at Lake Jacomo, which was a big draw for local and statewide politicians. Below, Jim (center, in shades) serving up hot dogs at the picnic.
But there was lots of campaign work too. Door-to-door canvassing. Rallies. Voter registration. Yard signs and campaign posters. A lot of grunt work suited to “young” Democrats.
We had monthly meetings at the U-Smile Stadium Inn, and the parade of speakers included most local and state Democratic candidates and officeholders. A good example was in 1968 when we hosted a series of appearances by Senate candidates True Davis, Ed Long and Tom Eagleton (the latter winning our support). Several of our club members were also on the board of the Committee for County Progress, then the dominant Democratic organization in Jackson County.
The Young Democrats placed me in the middle of county politics and led to my managing Mike White’s campaign for County Executive in 1974. Mike’s victory led to more political involvement, including chairmanship of the Jackson County Democratic Committee and advance work for Vice President Walter Mondale. But for Jim and Bill recruiting me to the YDs, I would not have had those opportunities. A gift that kept on giving.
Jim’s Work History, Early Travel and Marital Status: I have combined these topics because I’m going to quote Jim’s responses that became part of our class reunion yearbooks (the cool graphic on the cover page for the yearbooks was designed by classmate Brian Firkins).
1969 (10-Year Reunion): After school, Jim attended the United States Air Force for four short years (in such exquisite places as Cheyenne, Wyoming), Kansas City Junior College and Central Missouri State College. He has since devoted two years of his life to the advertising department of Western Auto and is now employed by M. Berry Company as an advertising representative of Yellow Pages. Besides letting his fingers do the walking, Jim enjoys boating, politics (he is a vice president of the South & Eastern Jackson County Young Democrats), travel, sporty cars and “various assorted fun things.”
1974 (15): Jim is currently relaxing as a salesperson after wintering in Spain and Mexico the last few years. However, sales of motorcycle parts and accessories being in such demand, it has forced Jim to retire from retirement.
1979 (20): Jim is single and lives at Lakewood. He is presently a wholesale motorcycle parts distributor, manufacturer and importer. Jim lists his hobby as attending class reunions.
1984 (25): Spouse: Shirley A. Graham. After high school, stumbled across numerous college campuses, followed by four years of Air Force life. Then came five years in advertising as an ad copywriter for the Kansas City Star, Western Auto and Yellow Pages. Then stopped to smell the roses – living in Mexico, South America, Europe and Africa. The last 12 years have been in the motorcycle parts and accessories business. After 42 years as a confirmed bachelor, became husband and (step) grandfather. The clean living finally caught up with me. [Below, Jim and Shirley dancing at the class reunion.]
1994 (35): Jim is single with no children. Same story as 30th reunion, but different year.
Jim’s work in advertising prompted him to become a junior member of the ad club. In 1971, this appeared in the club’s newsletter:
Hold this thought for later: The “As I Hear It…” column is authored “by Sandy,” as in Sandy Thompson, the editor of the newsletter.
In the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, Jim often left his job to head out for foreign travel. Backpacking in Europe. Living for a while in someone’s cave in Mexico. His traveling experience was way ahead of the rest of our crew who were married and had kids.
But in 1972, Jim found his calling in selling parts, accessories and apparel for motorcycles. His gift of gab and humor made him a natural salesman, and the Draggin’ Diplomats had taught him a lot about the vehicle parts industry. He had a wide territory that kept him on the road visiting motorcycle dealers and retailers. As he said for the 1974 reunion, his new profession caused him to retire from retirement.
When Rita and I hosted a ‘50s party in 1984, we used Jim’s calling card to announce the party. The beard he tried to grow in high school finally came in.
Another big change in Jim’s life was getting married to Shirley. And when he brought her to the ‘50s party, they would have won the costume contest if we had one. Jim was a lame teenager, and Shirley was a pregnant high schooler (a pillow under her dress). Wish I could find the photo.
The Big Six: The 1980s brought some major life changes. After 7+ years of being single, I married Rita in 1981. Larry and Diana had been living in Rochester (NY) where Larry was working for IBM, but that status luckily changed when IBM relocated Larry back to Kansas City in 1984. After Jim’s divorce, his next significant other was Sandy Thompson (remember, the woman from the ad club newsletter in 1971). In the 50th reunion yearbook, Jim listed Sandy as his “Life Partner.”
We started doing a lot together. Dinners, day trips, Derby Day and ‘50s parties, the Ozarks, etc. We were together so much that Diana’s mother called us the “Big Six.”
When Larry Brewer died, his son Tom reviewed Larry’s “journals,” an extensive set of memories Larry entered on his computer over the years. Here is how Tom summarized the entries regarding the Big Six:
“This is the story of ‘The Big Six’: Larry and Diana, Lonnie and Rita, Jim and Sandy—three couples who spent years together traveling, laughing, and celebrating life. Larry’s journals offer a vivid and heartfelt account of these enduring friendships. His reflections—scattered across decades—form a portrait of camaraderie, shared joy, world travel, and a mutual appreciation for the absurdities and sweetness of life.”
Spot on.
Birthdays: The Big Six had a birthday tradition of celebrating the combined “girls” birthdays in winter and the “boys” in summer. This became trickier after the Brewers moved to Phoenix in 2003. I sent an email then with a suggestion:
“Just so there is no misunderstanding, a move to another part of the world does not mean that boys’ and girls’ birthdays become an exchange of cards in the mail rather than in person. My proposal: Boys’ birthdays to be jointly celebrated in Kansas City at Frankie’s on the Plaza on Wednesday evening, Oct. 8 and girls’ birthdays in Mexico on Sunday evening, Nov. 23. This also puts the boys’ celebration closer to the birthday for Jim who has unselfishly for years agreed to celebrate early with us August guys. Do I hear any objections? thanks? alternatives?”
And we did this as often as we could, preferably combined with vacation trips. Some examples…
Wine Country: While in the U.S. or out of the country, we sought out the local wineries. Most of the trips made specifically for wine tasting were in California (below, at Sebastiani in Sonoma).
In Oregon, we toured as the “Grape Eight,” the Big Six plus Mary and Rich Ellison (the two directly behind me). The Ellisons later hosted the Big Six at their oceanside home in St. Simons, Georgia.
New York: In a Big Six trip to New York, we took a construction elevator up to about the 50th floor of a hotel being built by my New York client. Jim Graham was not a fan of heights, and here we were with just the skeleton of a building and no outside walls. We returned safely to ground. When completed, the building became the W Hotel on Times Square. At dinner that night, we were joined by Anne Devaney, Rita’s friend since grade school.
Alaska: In 2006, the Big Six plus Gary and Shirley Nuss cruised Alaska. Shirley and Diana were the best of friends, and on a personal note, Shirley was my first-ever date (8th grade Teen Town formal). Rita is my last date.
Mexico: We went many times, including on cruises. Our city of choice in Mexico was Puerto Vallarta (below).
Italy: The Big Six did a big tour of Italy in 1996.
France: In 2000. Can’t find the photos, but mostly southern France and Monaco (a stop at the casino).
Lakewood and Pontoon Boat: Jim lived for many years at Lakewood, and one of his treats was to take us out on his pontoon boat. Over the years, all nine of my grandchildren enjoyed the opportunity to take the wheel from “Captain Jim.” Below, with Melissa at the wheel and Emersyn posing for the camera in front of her dad Brian.
In the photo below is my youngest grandchild Ian being held by his father Jason. Jim is sporting a “Vote Lonnie Teen Town Mayor” tee shirt that he and other Van Horn classmates commissioned for my 50th birthday party. When we were at Van Horn, Teen Town mayor was a prestigious post. But I never ran. Maybe I should have, judging from this support 32 years later.
Final Years: In 2021, Sandy moved to memory care. Months later in 2022, Jim also moved to memory care, but at a different facility: The Groves at Rosemont Rehab, about a mile from his boyhood home and just up the street from Minor’s Market where he worked as a kid.
Although Jim’s memory was fading, he sometimes surprised with his recall. He called me one day to ask how much I was paid as a teenager to work at Curt’s Market (80 cents/hr.). Jim remembered he only got 65 cents at Minor’s Market. This prompted me to put together a bulletin board to help Jim recall other long term memories from the days of Bristol, Van Horn, the Draggin’ Diplomats, his jobs, etc.
Below, Bill Lochman and I sharing the first phase of the bulletin board with Jim. Rita took this photo and then added Diana via FaceTime for a mini reunion of old friends. It was the last time the four of us were together. Bill died in 2024 and Diana in 2025.
One of the photos on the bulletin board was from our first year of Van Horn. Jim looked at the cars in the photo and picked out one that was owned by one of the teachers – he was impressed that the teacher had that make and model.
We later added other items, including two of Jim’s cars and an Air Force missile and logo. He had told me that his first car was a 1952 Chevy and he loved his 1967 Corvette Stingray – both green. I found online photos of both models for the bulletin board. He explained to us the technical details of the Corvette, including the scooped hood and the 327 cubic-inch V-8 engine. He also remembered that the dealer got the car in September of 1966, but Jim waited until November 12 to pick it up. The insurance was much cheaper when he reached age 25. This shows two of Jim’s traits. To put it mildly, he was known for being frugal. But his Draggin’ Diplomat mind could not resist the lure of a fine automobile.
Jim was not great at letting the barber at the Groves cut his hair or trim his Santa Claus beard. So, Rita took charge and he acquiesced.
On his 83rd birthday, Jim showed vintage form with a rhyme for us: “I’m 83, I think I’ll pee.” After our visit to give him a birthday card and Rita’s regular delivery of brownies and cookies, Jim made a follow-up call a few days later to let me know that I looked good (for our age). He took it to another level for Rita, saying my “missus” was outstanding, and in the old days, people would say I robbed the cradle.
A welcome visitor for Jim was his former wife, Shirley. Below, Shirley and Rita with Jim when we celebrated his 84th birthday last November. Jim’s old friend Cliff Braden also joined us that day.
When Jim had a birthday, even in his later condition, he never failed to remind me that I was older than he was. By three months. He took pleasure in being younger.
Jim’s brother Bob lived in Virginia but kept in touch with the doctors and the VA for Jim’s medical needs. Aaron Kirchoff, Jim’s neighbor at Lakewood, visited Jim weekly to check on his needs. Aaron was also the one in Jim’s later years at Lakewood who kept the pontoon boat going. Aaron is a saint.
Below, Aaron and Jim in Jim’s backyard at Lakewood. The other presence in the photo is a 10-foot tall metal sculpture (difficult to see, but you will get a better look later).
Goodbye Jim: There is one thing about Jim that I can’t fully capture in writing. He was one of the funniest people I have ever known. He had one-liners for almost every situation. But you had to be there.
Glad I was. RIP my friend.
Lonnie’s Jukebox – Jim Graham Edition: The big reunion year was 2009, our 50th, and I prepared the original Lonnie’s Jukebox featuring 50 rock ‘n’ roll songs in chronological order mixed in with high school stories, some of which are told above. The full piece is here. Many of these songs overlap with my tributes to Bill and Diana, but they are worth the encore.
“Rock Around the Clock” by Bill Haley and the Comets (1955). An early rock ‘n’ roll anthem that helped launch our high school soundtrack.
“Maybelline” by Chuck Berry (1955). Cars, especially fast cars, were a common subject of the rock ‘n’ roll genre. The Draggin’ Diplomats would do their best to follow this lead.
“I’m Walkin’” by Fats Domino (1957). Fats was a Teen Town favorite, along with Little Richard, Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, etc.
“Lollipop” by the Chordettes (1958). The song playing on the car radio when our friend Bill Lochman wrecked his mom’s Plymouth.
“Party Doll” by Buddy Knox (1957). A #1 hit in 1957, but still on the jukebox in 1959 at the Big Six, one of our late-night haunts. The owners said people kept playing it, so no reason to update that slot in the jukebox.
“So Fine” by the Fiestas (1959). The big dance craze our senior year was the “West Coast,” and this song with a shuffle beat was perfect for the dance steps. Diana was a great dance partner for Jim and me, and our dancing the West Coast continued for decades after high school. In keeping with his “no exercise” lifestyle, Jim was great at keeping the beat with an economy of movement that left the hard work to his dance partner.
“Kansas City” by Wilbert Harrison (1959). The song that prompted us to head to Vine Street and enjoy Dizzy Gillespie at the Blue Room.
“Shake Rattle and Roll” by Big Joe Turner (1954). When we were at the Blue Room, we did not realize that blues shouter Big Joe Turner got his start just around the corner. Turner had the first hit of this song – on the rhythm and blues charts – followed by the one we knew by Bill Haley and the Comets.
“Running Bear” by Johnny Preston (1959). This #1 hit carried over into 1960 and was part of the soundtrack for our second American Graffiti summer.
“Mustang Sally” by Wilson Pickett (1966). My first state YD convention with Jim and Bill was in Jefferson City in 1968. There were huge party nights around the pool, and I remember the band played from a balcony and featured covers of songs by Wilson Pickett and Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels (“Devil with a Blue Dress On”). I’m picking “Mustang Sally” from the setlist because it matched a raffle held by our club at the convention. Hundreds of tickets were sold. The winner won a Mustang with a red interior. We also touted that it had four-on-the-floor. The winner was surprised when the prize was a black horse (in a trailer in the parking lot).
“The Happy Organ” by Dave “Baby” Cortez (1959). As stated in the original Lonnie’s Jukebox: “Jim Graham continues to this day to claim that this senior year song was named after him.” Double entendre intended.
Photo Gallery: Bonus pics.
Bill’s 60th Birthday Party: In 2001, Lois threw a 60th birthday party for Bill. Larry Keck, our old friend from the Draggin’ Diplomats, was there, making it a mini reunion for our hot rod club. Bill had long ago lost track of his Draggin’ Diplomats license plate, and he got a nice surprise when Jim brought his to give to Bill as a birthday present. Jim was also wearing a campaign sticker from when Bill ran for the county legislature in 1972 (won the primary and lost a close race in the general).
Van Horn Reunions: The Van Horn Class of 1959 had reunions every five or ten years. Jim, Bill, Diana and I were part of many of the reunion committees. We also participated in some multi-class reunions, and for the one in 2006, Rita and I hosted some of the 1959 graduates at our condo.
Standing: Lonnie Shalton, Tom Foley, Jim Graham (wearing his Vote Lonnie Teen Town Mayor tee shirt), Brian Firkins, Bill Lochman and Bob Farrand.
Seated on Chairs: Tom Black, Leslie Gray, Don Russell and Shirley Maycock.
Seated on Floor: Linda Riley, Joann Norman, Jim Kirkham, Marcia Pippenger and Diana Sullivan.
Young Democrats Reunion: Below, a 2010 reunion of our Young Democrats club.
Standing: Bill Lochman, Roz Webb, Bob Farrand, Jim Graham, Ted Folkert, Lonnie Shalton and Rita Leifhelm.
Sitting: Carolyn Hall, Pat Hininger, Lois Lochman and Sonia Farrand.
Grape Eight: From our Big Six trip to see Rich and Mary Ellison at their home in St. Simons. Jim again wearing that tee shirt.
Henry Graham and His Chief: In Jim’s backyard at Lakewood stood a 10-foot sculpture modeled on the original Chiefs’ logo (a raised tomahawk in the right hand and a football cradled in the left hand). The sculpture was the creation of Jim’s dad, Henry Graham.
Mr. Graham was a welder who had a shop at 15th and Sterling in Independence. As a crosswalk safety when I was at Bristol, I sometimes had the duty at 15th and Sterling and would see Mr. Graham working in his shop. When Jim and I were in the hot rod club in high school, Mr. Graham’s welding expertise was invaluable in helping us keep our cars on the road.
To construct his football Chief, Graham welded together thousands of bits of scrap metal. As the work progressed, he added some nuts and bolts, chain links, bed springs and spark plugs. The spinal column is a flywheel ring gear. One ankle is formed by a tie rod and a wheel bearing. He estimated that there were 3,500 pieces that each needed some trial and error to fit properly. He told the Kansas City Star, “It was kind of like putting together a jigsaw puzzle.”
Upon completion of the project, Graham met with Jack Steadman, the general manager of the Chiefs. The negotiations bogged down over copyright and compensation, and so Graham’s artwork never made it to Arrowhead. His discussion with Steadman was the headline in the Star article.
A few years ago, the sculpture was sold. It remains a unique masterpiece (photo by Cliff Braden).
Henry Graham was a coach on Jim’s 3&2 baseball team. Below, Jim in the center and his dad to the right.
